Health Insurance Was Never Meant to Cover Medical Issues

by | Jul 31, 2022 | Ad, Fake | 0 comments

You’re a captain of industry. Supply chain disruptions threaten a delivery quota you committed to last year. And suddenly your employees heads keep exploding because the staff fridge is an incubator for a monkey-pox ebola hybrid.

Go to the doctor fer Crissakes!, you may say. But they all refuse because they fear medical bankruptcy.

You slap your head. Your Company’s Health Insurance was never meant to promote wellness. Everyone knows that, from the C-Suite to the mail-room.

Let’s face it. You need “gap” coverage.

What’s that?

Gap Insurance covers the  gap in a health insurance company’s “profit stream”,  which occurs when its policy holders seek medical help.

Why should I give a flying f*ck about your company’s profit stream?

You have no choice. The United States is capitalist. And if you don’t work with us you’ll go bankrupt for sure. And die young.


So let’s get back to “gap” insurance, which is intended to protect our profits while you actually get some medical coverage. Win-win. Obviously. Any questions?

What’s the business model?

We charge you more than you can collect for your medical expenses.

How is your plan so affordable?

Its not.

But at least its profitable, right? I own shares in your company.

That’s right. Many customers hedge their financial bets by investing in us and using the dividends they receive to pay their surprise medical bills.

That explains the clip-art ads.

Indeed! We always cut corners at Phoenix-Dove HealthCare.

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